From: Brett
Sent: Tuesday, September 24, 2013 11:57 AM
Subject: FW: Background for Behm Child Custody Case

Richard,

I never got confirmation of the original email I sent Friday or the 3 separate emails I sent yesterday from AAAA.  This could imply that either you are not receiving emails from that address or that you have not got around to confirming yesterday’s email.  I have never had an issue with the AAAA email nor did I receive a reply from the server that your email address of choicesmi@aol.com  was undeliverable.  Maybe check a spam folder to see if it is there.  At any rate I am sending this again from my personal email account AAAA.   Please let me know when you get it.  If I don’t hear back I will call you in a day or so.

Brett

From: Brett
Sent: Friday, September 20, 2013 11:06 AM

Hey Richard,

Here is some background information on my case. 

Court Contacts are Libby Blanchard (248-858-5421) and Katherine Stahl (248-858-5559).  I used the following link - http://www.oakgov.com/courts/foc/pages/division_committee/Obrien.aspx - to obtain this information.  Both should be familiar with this case.

I was divorced 9/21/2009.  There are 2 children involved here: Brayden (boy age 9) and Riley (girl age 12).  Since the time of my divorce I have never gone more than a couple of months without a court hearing.  Mostly involving money or children.  As a matter of fact, I have another hearing set for next week 9/25/2013. 

Hopefully you can help in this case, there has been limited success thus far.  I am sure my case is inches think by now, but it really comes down to one simple issue:  I want to spend time with my kids and plaintiff/ex-wife/Angela doesn't want me in their lives.  Plaintiff has fought me every step of the way to make sure she gets what she wants.

My initiation into the family court system happened early 2010.  Since we were divorced in September of 2009, I guess there is a 6 month waiting period before one party can start complaining about the other. Plaintiff filed a complaint with the FOC spring 2010 to reduce my parenting time.  At this time my parenting schedule was every other weekend and every other Wednesday.  The reason for the motion was never entered on the form.  Let's say the reason was because this is what she wanted.  So we both met at the FOC and I was introduced to Katherine Stahl and Libby Blanchard.  Katherine recommended that we get some family counseling since in her opinion we demonstrated animosity toward one another.  So we were assigned AJ Kitchen as our counselor.  At the end of a 10 week session with AJ, Libby Blanchard recommended continued counseling with AJ.  Because I thought the counseling was a waste of time, I wrote the attached letter to AJ.  (AJ Kitchen.doc).  It is fair to say AJ was not particularly happy with me after receiving that letter.  The letter or portions of it are on court file, so should be fair game for you to read.

Not wanting to endure any more counseling, I then came up with the not so bright idea of filing a motion with the court asking to have plaintiff tested for BPD.  (see attached – AJ 2.doc).  I naively thought if I could prove this fact the “root” cause to all of these endless court encounters could be put to rest.  So a hearing was granted and probably my second biggest mistake was acting as my own attorney.  At the hearing (November 2010) other issues besides the testing were brought up by her lawyer such as “I never paid any of the counseling costs”, which was a false statement.  So Judge Brennan rules instantly that I need to pay that amount before I can even respond.  I guess I spoke out of line and got dinged by the judge for a contempt of court.  Now my tab for the day was something like $650 ($350 for the counseling fees and another $300 for the contempt) which pissed me off even more.   In retrospect it was silly for me to be that upset, since $650 is small change when added to the $35K+ I have paid in lawyer/testing/court fees since this all began.  But being rewarded for lying doesn’t actually sit that well with me regardless the amount.  On top of that , the whole premise for being there was really never discussed or dismissed as unnecessary.   In other words, my motion was a waste of time, but set in motion events that would put me in my present predicament.  When Brennan gave me the option of paying the contempt of court fee or spending 3 days in county jail, I took the jail option.  Two hours later I was out of jail and home in time to pick up my kids for that day.  When I got them and told them I had been in jail I also did something so unforgivable and egregious in the courts eyes this would be the last time I would see them.  That was .. I played them a couple minute recording of their mother ranting at me on a taped phone call.  A few months and $10,000 later in legal fees, I was then stripped of all contact with my kids. 

April 2012, I am taken back to court because plaintiff needed more money for child care expenses.  Apparently the $4200 a month I was paying in combined child and spousal support was not enough her.  At this time I got a new lawyer he claimed he could help with reunification with the kids.  So that process began and the first checkpoint on the agenda would be a full psychological evaluation for me of course.  One thing I learned is never claim your ex to be crazy.  Making such an assertion whether true or not instantly makes you the target.  So I got the evaluation and it is on court file and attached here as well.  Actually re-reading it has a pretty good detailed account of what I experienced and the decisions I made at the time.  The one difference between how I would tell the story then and now - is I would probably temper my so called “obsession” with diagnosing my ex with BPD.  Do I believe she has it or some other Cluster B disorder? Absolutely.  Do I still care about proving this to the world or really believe it matters to anyone but me? No.  Plaintiff's lawyer of course disagreed with the conclusion in the evaluation and claimed the only reason I passed was because I was a "smart" individual who faked the tests by researching how to do this on the Internet.  This is on file at the court as well and also has me questioning the intelligence of someone charging $300/hr for their time.  After receiving this I did Google “how to fake a psychological exam”.  From what I found, there is really no good advice IMO.  But I only looked at the top 5 or so links.   Here is that snippet.

So after I was cleared of possessing any disorder preventing me access to my kids, we were sent to a "High Conflict" counselor named Jerry Price.  Jerry met with me and plaintiff twice (individually of course) and came up with the conclusion we were untreatable and he was unwilling to take the case.  Below is his summary.  I cannot find the official court letter, but states pretty much the same thing as below.

Dear Angela and Brett,

After meeting with you both twice I have concluded that this isn't a situation

that is treatable in our program at this time. To be frank, I believe that Brett

will not be honest enough about mistakes he makes and weaknesses that I

can help with, and no matter what he does Angela will not find it sufficient.

I don't see there being trust in this process or a buy-in to establish trust in

it in either case and therefore feel I would be taking fees needlessly if I were to continue.

I will be sending you each copies of the letter I send to the court summarizing

my conclusions. Until then, feel free to make this summary available to your

attorneys.

I wish you and  your children the best as you attempt to navigate this most

difficult time.

Best regards,

Jerome A. Price, MA

Michigan Family Institute

I actually thought things might work out with Jerry because he opening dialog with me went something like this – “Don’t always assume the court bases its decisions on logic or reasoning”.  But he was also upfront with not being forced to take on cases and does reject about half the cases he is assigned.

So this is where you come in J.   There are comments on both the psych evaluation and from Jerry price about my ownership of this situation I am in.  That I am not honest about my mistakes and my role in why things are the way they are.  Actually I believe most if not everything is my fault.     

· Fault 1 – I don't think my personality is a good fit with the family court system.  In my opinion it is really not about truth or what is best for the kids, but wasting a lot of time and telling everyone what they want to hear.  Or more cynically, the system is put in place to serve the system.  Plaintiff had her boyfriend staying the night 4 days after moving out and it is of no concern.  Plaintiff first alienates her own mother (only living grandparent) from the kids, then me and not even considered an issue.  There is also a lot of delays/fees/testing.  Just think I started this reunification process in April of 2012 and it is September 2013 and no one has even talked to the kids yet.  As a matter of fact after AJ, no one ever talked to the kids. 

· Fault 2 – Deciding to marry and procreate with who I picked.  My predicament today is the cost of my poor judgment. 

· Fault 3 - I should have never played the tape for the kids.  While I was doing this the kids even advised me that this was not appropriate.  I probably should not have told them I was in jail as well.  I'm not sure it justifies stripping me of all my parental rights, but ties in with fault 1.

· Fault 4 - Reacting the way I did to being hated, lied about, getting frustrated trying to solve issues that did not exist or were blown out of proportion.

Where I am a little less willing to take full responsibility is walking away from the situation.  Until plaintiff got a job every court appearance was paid for by me (both sides).  Plus I was and still do get constantly ripped on what a vile human being I am by plaintiff’s lawyer and in my opinion seen as the “problem”.  And as I told the psychologist, I was just waiting for the day when I was accused of child molestation or some other equally horrendous accusation.   Now people will argue that you need to fight for your kids to the death.  Doesn’t matter if you go bankrupt in the process or waste 10+ years in the legal system fighting about non-issues, it is just something you are obligated to do.  Maybe true, but from experience it is draining and I think you have to have a good mental state and plan to endure the process.  But once again, no consideration as to what effect it might have on the kids. 

So that brings us up to the present.  At this point, I feel I am in a good frame of mind.  Feel that it is time for me and the kids to be reunited.  I miss them!!  Feel I have the stamina to endure the never ending complaints and false accusations that will surely come if reunification is to happen.  I also truly feel I can give the kids another perspective on life.  One of gratitude, gratefulness, acceptance and encouragement.  And one thing both the FOC and myself agree with is that I think it is beneficial for kids and me to have each other in our lives.  It has been almost 3 years since I last saw or communicated with the kids.  Fortunately I am able to get a glimpse of what they are doing and what they look like from school activities posted on the Internet.  The last time I saw Brayden he had all his baby teeth now I am informed he is going to an orthodontist. 

In summary what I want is pretty simple: Just have some time with my kids with as little 3rd party (court) interaction as possible.   I’m sure you have heard this story before so how do you want to proceed from here?

Thanks,

Brett